Rants
I think that sometimes we are all prisoners of our circumstances, sometimes we are not aware but the keyboard is like an instrument itself, and the hardest part is that it is a silent instrument, and the music it makes is a music of the mind.
right now i just want to write, I want to see how my ideas come to be transcribed in this media, how my fingers instinctively find each key and how my brain and my hands are linked in this perfect dance, that end in a result in translating my ideas from the ethereal to the digital which is also kind of ethereal, we have come a long way from the chisel and hammer on a stone tablet,
I've thought about looking at what mubi offers, but i truly do not know if all curated cinema is the way I want to experience content, for I fear the falling of my self into some sort of artistic snobbery that might disconnect me from the true zeitgeist.
I want my work to be an exploration of ideas and why they seem recursive in various forms of media, are we trying to teach each other some important lessons over and over again, are we trying to teach humanity, all those around us the right path??? what is happening with this zeitgeist??? all I know is that something is wrong, the world is not as it should be. and thought we are not yet close to the end I think we are clearly heading there.
maybe that is what the zeitgeist is about, maybe it's glimpses of people who are able to extrapolate the current data and see that the road ahead is worse... life is transient and there are elements completely out of our control and existence is a shared experience of longings. and there is clear despair in this, you feel powerless and fell slowly floating into the void. and nothing can stop that.
they are wrong. they are wrong, they are wrong
the only thing that keeps us going is that human connection, but they are systematically destroying the human connection, by creating digital friends, digital lovers... by creating fake... false mirrors of humanity... similes of humanity. but there are creators who are able to distill humanity and with their words, their stories or their music distill the very fabric of creation and create life, meaning, choice.... and I think this is the difference between dead stories who are being puppeteered by the evil ones only to be distorted and desecrated into instruments of control. and they will keep beating that dead horse until it stops spiting out money. but these are zombie stories, zombie songs, zombie movies.... but not literal zombies as the subject matter, but the art itself is dead, or undead.... all life and originality is gone, it's soul or it's heart is gone./.. yet it still lives...
And I think this is the real horror in undeath, it's simply a perversion of life... whatever it meant or it stood for when it was alive is irrelevant, because now it is a husk of it's formal self, and it is not even aware that it is being used to further someone else's agenda. animated dead flesh performing for the masses.
if there is something akin to uncreation or to mocking life, love and creation I think it is this form of undeath... it is not really life...
Hi My name is Ruben and I have decided to stop being undead, I was condemned to a life of stress and futility, trying to win the rat race, but I guess that this world is no place for a flippant man who refused to grow up, so the system kept rewarding me with shittier and shittier results. The weird part is that that in something I can only describe as the world mocking me, a lot of things I loved began to show greater and greater economic potential than the thing I was currently doing. If I am destined to fail I am OK with that, but that does not mean I can fuck with the maze of destiny in the meantime and rig the game so that everyone else succeeds...
I was born in a strange middle ground between the haves and the have nots... my mothers side of the family was orphaned at a young age... and experienced abandonment and destitution, yet here they stand, trying to better themselves and survive. my fathers side of the family could be considered as the haves, but it's not really a direct correlation, something I think we are the poorest of the haves, my father has been called the poorest in attitude by one of the richest in wealth among my family, and that kind of bothered me. so I'll use this media to say fuck you. that was of poor taste and if my father was not present I wold have kicked their ass.
this has given me another idea... what if I depict God, and I mean the God as my father... and how would I feel for a flawed parental figure who has given me everything, but has his own issues and traumas and problems... I mean the guy has childhood trauma that shaped what he is... but still despite growing up in a sterile environment where love was showered on him at a young age... by people far kinder than generations after him... and I think there is a plan and a support system in place in that part of the family that I consider the true haves... but still it is not perfect.
but this is the real world, what happens when you cannot avoid trauma or heartache and the world keeps treating you like shit... this bubble must be burst, and my place in the middle class put me in a particular situation that let me experience the death of the middle class and the rampart absorption of wealth by the upper class. my bubble burst... and even though it was not the best of bubbles it still had it's merits so do not insult it please.
Some people think that we are a collection of our experiences, beholders of life catalogers of experience... but more feelers and just watchers... but what happens if those experiences are shitty. and shitty beyond measure... war, poverty, disease, rape, death ... does that mean that these individuals who have experienced trauma and hardship must like in a correlation of cause and effect bring those same things unto others because it happened to them? is this a sort of revenge in which humanity is constantly fucking with others because they fucked with me first??? is this why it seems like we are in a game of musical chairs where there are more than enough chairs for everyone but somehow you still don't get one.
The only thing keeping me from homelessness at this time is my parents money. and at first I had considered slaving away to increase the family "fortune" so that other individuals along the bloodline would not have to have such a hard time... So far I have been financially unsuccessful.
right now i just want to write, I want to see how my ideas come to be transcribed in this media, how my fingers instinctively find each key and how my brain and my hands are linked in this perfect dance, that end in a result in translating my ideas from the ethereal to the digital which is also kind of ethereal, we have come a long way from the chisel and hammer on a stone tablet,
I've thought about looking at what mubi offers, but i truly do not know if all curated cinema is the way I want to experience content, for I fear the falling of my self into some sort of artistic snobbery that might disconnect me from the true zeitgeist.
I want my work to be an exploration of ideas and why they seem recursive in various forms of media, are we trying to teach each other some important lessons over and over again, are we trying to teach humanity, all those around us the right path??? what is happening with this zeitgeist??? all I know is that something is wrong, the world is not as it should be. and thought we are not yet close to the end I think we are clearly heading there.
maybe that is what the zeitgeist is about, maybe it's glimpses of people who are able to extrapolate the current data and see that the road ahead is worse... life is transient and there are elements completely out of our control and existence is a shared experience of longings. and there is clear despair in this, you feel powerless and fell slowly floating into the void. and nothing can stop that.
they are wrong. they are wrong, they are wrong
the only thing that keeps us going is that human connection, but they are systematically destroying the human connection, by creating digital friends, digital lovers... by creating fake... false mirrors of humanity... similes of humanity. but there are creators who are able to distill humanity and with their words, their stories or their music distill the very fabric of creation and create life, meaning, choice.... and I think this is the difference between dead stories who are being puppeteered by the evil ones only to be distorted and desecrated into instruments of control. and they will keep beating that dead horse until it stops spiting out money. but these are zombie stories, zombie songs, zombie movies.... but not literal zombies as the subject matter, but the art itself is dead, or undead.... all life and originality is gone, it's soul or it's heart is gone./.. yet it still lives...
And I think this is the real horror in undeath, it's simply a perversion of life... whatever it meant or it stood for when it was alive is irrelevant, because now it is a husk of it's formal self, and it is not even aware that it is being used to further someone else's agenda. animated dead flesh performing for the masses.
if there is something akin to uncreation or to mocking life, love and creation I think it is this form of undeath... it is not really life...
Hi My name is Ruben and I have decided to stop being undead, I was condemned to a life of stress and futility, trying to win the rat race, but I guess that this world is no place for a flippant man who refused to grow up, so the system kept rewarding me with shittier and shittier results. The weird part is that that in something I can only describe as the world mocking me, a lot of things I loved began to show greater and greater economic potential than the thing I was currently doing. If I am destined to fail I am OK with that, but that does not mean I can fuck with the maze of destiny in the meantime and rig the game so that everyone else succeeds...
I was born in a strange middle ground between the haves and the have nots... my mothers side of the family was orphaned at a young age... and experienced abandonment and destitution, yet here they stand, trying to better themselves and survive. my fathers side of the family could be considered as the haves, but it's not really a direct correlation, something I think we are the poorest of the haves, my father has been called the poorest in attitude by one of the richest in wealth among my family, and that kind of bothered me. so I'll use this media to say fuck you. that was of poor taste and if my father was not present I wold have kicked their ass.
this has given me another idea... what if I depict God, and I mean the God as my father... and how would I feel for a flawed parental figure who has given me everything, but has his own issues and traumas and problems... I mean the guy has childhood trauma that shaped what he is... but still despite growing up in a sterile environment where love was showered on him at a young age... by people far kinder than generations after him... and I think there is a plan and a support system in place in that part of the family that I consider the true haves... but still it is not perfect.
but this is the real world, what happens when you cannot avoid trauma or heartache and the world keeps treating you like shit... this bubble must be burst, and my place in the middle class put me in a particular situation that let me experience the death of the middle class and the rampart absorption of wealth by the upper class. my bubble burst... and even though it was not the best of bubbles it still had it's merits so do not insult it please.
Some people think that we are a collection of our experiences, beholders of life catalogers of experience... but more feelers and just watchers... but what happens if those experiences are shitty. and shitty beyond measure... war, poverty, disease, rape, death ... does that mean that these individuals who have experienced trauma and hardship must like in a correlation of cause and effect bring those same things unto others because it happened to them? is this a sort of revenge in which humanity is constantly fucking with others because they fucked with me first??? is this why it seems like we are in a game of musical chairs where there are more than enough chairs for everyone but somehow you still don't get one.
The only thing keeping me from homelessness at this time is my parents money. and at first I had considered slaving away to increase the family "fortune" so that other individuals along the bloodline would not have to have such a hard time... So far I have been financially unsuccessful.
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